"And Then What Happens???"

When you're growing up, your parents guide you to be a better person, encourage you to do your best and tell you, "You can be anything you want to be. If you work hard enough, you can even grow up to be President!" The truth of it is, growing up poor and Black (I grew up Black, not Afro-American, sorry...), my mother told me to work hard and be the best I could be, but become President?!? Oh, we knew that wasn't ever going to happen for a Black man...

But now it's all changed!

Now, don't get me wrong. I don't have any delussions that America (or the world for that matter) is now some sort of Utopian Star Trek-like society, where race is a non-issue. Actually, quite the contrary. I also don't expect President Obama to fly into the White House on a magic comet and fix everything. He's just one man and a politician. But it's about the promise, the hope and the fact that steps are being taken towards a better America for everyone (except of course the disenfranchised NeoNazi's). The fact that a majority of people out there can come together and have their voices heard and their voices said, "that man is the better man and that's what we want, regardless of his skin tone."

I'm sure this quote will be said time and time again, but I'm gonna say it, because it's true...

"I never thought I'd see a Black President, in my lifetime."

So, now the real question is, "...and then what happens???"

In 2009, we shall see...

"Everyone's a Designer"

"Everyone's a Designer"

The mere thought of that phrase makes me cringe! It's generally thrown out by Prodouchebags and Chowderheads that know nothing about what they're doing and certainly nothing about what a good Designer does. Anyone who utters those magic words wouldn't know a good Designer, if they came in and sat on their face, squirting "million unit seller juice" all over the place.

That said, it's not all their fault. I've been around this block for quite a while and seen a lot of different people with the title "Designer", even ones that call themselves "Design veterans" and yet they are pariah making real Designers look bad.

I don't believe Designers (especially Leads) are just "idea channelers" who sit back and have "wouldn't it be cool if..." sessions, write some crappy "document" that is little more than a combination of bulletpoints, say, "we'll figure that out later," which really means *you'll figure it out later*, and critique things only when someone else has implemented.

Designers are people who are vision holders, make definitive decisions and know every aspect of the game, from top to bottom. They've played the game a thousand times in their head, from top to bottom and will play it a thousand more times during development. And when I say, "play the game," I don't necessarily mean actual hands on. I spend a lot of time actually imagining the game, as if it already existed, even though you don't have pixel-one on the screen. Honestly, any "designer" (especially "Lead" or "Creative Director") who can't do this, needs to turn in their card.

I akin a good Game Designer to a movie director that has a distinct style. They may not have written the screenplay, lit the set, or acted out a part, but their presence is felt throughout their productions and people trust them when they hire them. They know the product they're getting, because it's "what they do".

I personally write documentation that's quite thorough. Not because I enjoy being a text jockey, but because I hate open questions to simple answers. I hate people working on things that are "soft" where there's no need for "creative input for buy in". It's amazing to me how many productions go without defining the core mechanics of gameplay. I mean, if you're making a fricken racing game, you should define the basics and make them stick. Some say, why define it, if it is indeed basic? Because for some stupid reason, everybody's got a different view of "basic" and as a leader/vision holder, you should at least be able to let someone know where Point-B is, so people can get from Point-A to...

I also believe in "lead by example", so in addition to writing a bunch of stuff that gets marketing/producers jazzed and somehow is still useful to the team, Designers should dive into editors, script, whatever... I figure, if you can't show someone how to make something great, you can't expect them to respect your opinion when it comes time to make a hard decision about the game.

As for "Programmers make great Designers"... well... hmm... I've found most Programmers who really are Programmers to be best as Programmers. I think Designers should have some art, programming, writing, psychology and sociology background, but saying a Programmer is a great Designer means you don't understand/respect what a great designer does. I can program, draw, model, texture, write music, write box copy, etc...etc...etc... but I am a "Designer", not an Artist, not a Programmer. I focus on Design and respect the other disciplines enough to know that I am not them.

Anyway, enough of my rant, to the original post... here's my thoughts...

Just like people driving fast on the freeway aren't race car drivers, just because someone has an idea, that doesn't make them "Designers". No, "everyone" is not a "Designer", Designers are Designers, especially when they're good. Empowered, a team can thrive with a good Designer or weed out crap Designers quickly, since they won't actually be doing their job. So, realize everyone has ideas and opinions but only "Designers are Designers".

The Grass Is Always Greener

So, it always seems that everyone else's work is always "better" than what you've done. Somehow everyone else on the planet has magically executed better than you and of course, they knew the super-Secret Squirrel shit, the amazing kung-fu that not only made a great game, but they did it without any problems and their development was super-smooth. It had to have been that way, to create such a great product, right?!?

BULLSHIT!

It amazes me how many people always look at somebody else's work and think that the other person's always got their shit together. In my experience, everyone out there seems to be flailing. No, it's not that I haven't come across "the perfect developer", I've talked with a ton of these "star developers" and they all have horror stories. Every one of them.

So, why do people look at other's work and romanticize how it was done? Why do people put others on such a pedestal? My guess is that people need hope. If you're having a shit time at work and things aren't "the perfect development" that you've built up in your head, by idolizing someone else and envisioning this "perfect process" at Developer X, you can imagining that someplace else is "better" and there's hope.

Now, I'm not saying that every place is shit or there is no "great places" to work, of course there are. But, I really don't think there's any "perfect place" or "perfect method". I don't think any one place can be "perfect", because everyone's different . There can be a happy middle ground, but "perfection"... nah...

I find understanding that nothing can be 100% ideal is quite liberating. Coming to this conclusion allows you to look at the things that you consider "problems" and really assess them relative to "the big picture", i.e. Your Life.

Which brings me to another subject; Your Job Is NOT Your Life!
I'll get around to writing that blog, someday... someday when I'm not busy with my job or my Real Life(tm).

Innovation is BS

After being on this rock for a while, you start to notice some patterns, especially if you tend to do the same thing for a spell and actually open your eyes and pay attention. Some of the cyclical things I've noticed are; clothes, music, gameplay, developers sprouting up, developers shutting down, publishers gobbling up every developer, publishers laying off/shutting down developers, housing market, gas crisis, etc.

One of the big things I notice always comes around is the almighty BUZZWORD(tm). The Buzzword(tm) is the thing that the consciousness latches onto as the most important thing at the time. It may have always been there or was never there at all, but as soon as someone identifies it and it gains momentum, the Buzzword(tm) is all anyone wants to hear or talk about.

Innovation is the bullshit Buzzword(tm) of the moment that everyone wants to hang their hat on. Like 7-10 years ago, it was "gameplay", and before that it was "immersion". My prediction is the next one is "work-play-balance" or some other touchy-feely bullshit like that. Here's the thing about "innovation". In reality, most things that are truely "new" and "innovative" are shunned, because they're generally unfamiliar and broken in some way that alienates people. It's not about INNOVATION, it's about POLISHED ITERATION. If you look at most successful and popular games, they're all iterations and variations on themes. They're generally well-executed in more than one respect and they may push boundaries, but they don't break them. I mean, seriously... I'm looking at all this fawning over some games recently and are they completely "new"??? Are they challenging me in ways I've *never seen before*??? Not really, they're just well executed iterations and hybrids. Fez, Synthesia (or whatever), Flow, Portal, Everyday Shooter, Schizoid, Mario Galaxy, Puzzle Quest, the list goes on and on and they're all hybrids or iterations.


Now, don't get me wrong, I'm okay with iteration. I'd much rather have a polished / well-balanced game than some sloppy scatterbrain thing that's trying too hard to do too much. Plus, half of these people who are "innovating" don't even look at other games, so they have no idea that they're regurgitating something that's already existed. It's like all these kids bobbing their head to pop music grooves (BTW, pop-music encompasses emo rock and other shit, 'cause it's POPular). It's all recycled and iterated upon. If someone would actually look at something "old" they'd realize where a lot of things come from.

Anyway, good game's a good game. All these labels are just for PR and elitists that want to separate themselves or splinter things, like all of the myriad of sub-genres in "electronica". People need to stop making sure they have their Buzzwords(tm) covered and their Metascore checklist marked off and work on making solid and fun interactive experiences.

IGF and GDC 08

Well, I'm off on the road to GDC. This year should be interesting because Axiom Overdrive is up for an IGF award. It's really cool to have someone acknowledge your work, especially since the love comes from a really crap/broken build submitted like 4 months ago. The game has come leaps and bounds in that time, so for them to see the potential back then is great.

With the nomination comes lovely people willing to actually put a mic (email?) in front of you and give a shit what you have to say. That's cool, since I don't have an announcement of starting a new studio, bitching about a game review I didn't like, leaving an old studio, pledging that I won't make crap games anymore, or any of the other completely ridiculous things people get press for nowadays. Seriously, whatever happen to getting press for releasing a game?!? Speaking of, what's with people mentioning that they "might be doing something, someday, that might be remotely interesting, but I can't tell you for the next 2-5 years!??" I mean, I understand press releases for actual up-coming games or something that's actually in development, but a blurb that you're thinking about doing something cool with maybe one bad concept drawing?!!? I don't get it...

(Is this the point where I write - deep breath?)

So yeah, a couple of people give a shit what I have to say. GAMEDEV.NET have an interview up, where I babble, attempting to answer their questions in an interested, yet still printable manner.

I'll also be appearing on G4's Xplay. They've already put up part one of a multi-part piece (or at least it better be), where my interview verbage is mysteriously absent, but you can see me playing Axiom in the b-roll. I assume it's because my interview is being used for the other parts of the coverage. I'll assume that for now, instead of getting really pissed that someone who wasn't even supposed to be in the piece, threw a tantrum and horned-in (even attempting to have me cut out entirely, when told to look for me). But I'm not gonna be bitter, because if some people need to act like that and need to do that kind of thing to get ahead, well good luck with that. I like to live off of the merits of what I do versus shoving others down, at this point in my life...

(oh wait, this is where I say it... DEEP BREATH!)

So... GDC.

Yeah, I can't wait to get into the conferences where everybody bitches about innovation, poor production practices, capturing the customer, "indie" vs. "casual", etc. Last year was interesting because there were solid surprises and the "next gen wars" were just about to happen. Now, a year later, with X360 the undeclared winner, Wii the fan favorite and PS3 wondering WTF happen, it'll be interesting to see if any significant announcements are made. I mean, since there's no more E3 (don't pretend that press-only bullshit is E3... 'cause it's not), GDC is one of the only times the biz can get any concentrated exposure during the year.

We shall see. Check back for the stink.

Not Dead Yet

Now, I know what you must be thinking... "This guy's just fallen off the face of the Earth," or "Well, I guess that's it, no more bitter blog, since he's all happy-slappy with his friggin kiddies." Well, not true. Not that my kids don't make me happy, but that doesn't mean I don't have more bitter diatribes to go off on in this very location, just I've been so busy with so many things.

One of the things is getting read for the GDC. There's a myriad of bullshit going on with my project, but having an unfinished / broken version of your game recognized out of a field of 175+ entrants is nothing to sniff at. I was looking at the game the other day and even though the Team Page on the website lists a ton (okay 12) people, the game has largely been made by 5 full-time members and I'm pretty proud of what's there.

One of the other things taking up my time lately is a new Wii project, of all things. Now, it's not that I inherently have have something against the Wii per se, but I find it to be just like every other Nintendo home platform post-SNES. It's targeted at kids and fanboys who like to wax nostalgic about a bygone Nintendo that they grew up with, and the only products that sell on it really are Nintendo products, because of said fanboys who believe that Nintendo can do no wrong and everyone else is crap. They can't pull their heads out of their asses and realize that Nintendo's been making the same fucking games for the past 20 years, so they better be fucking getting it right!

So, before a bunch of you get your panties in a bunch and say, "fuck that Tony, what game has he done that ever reached the greatness of Mario Galaxy?" Realize I'm mainly bitching that my game making efforts will more than likely be in vein or at least only sell enough to cover the cost of development, because Nintendo fanboys only buy "Big N" games. Don't believe me? Look at sales charts for DS games. Look at sales charts for Wii games, Gamecube games, etc. It's not just a quality issue, it's the "Nintendo factor". Also, I find game making is unfortunately filled with many more obstacles than just coming up with ideas and executing them. Most of my career has been either firefighter and/or fighting the process of making games and narrow-minded people who control the strings.

(deep breath)

So, anyway, yeah... been real busy and all that. In addition to making games at work and the kids keeping the wife and I up (we're talking NEVER more than 30 minutes in a row without dealing with something, 24/7), I'm trying to get my own games and game engine on the go at home. When I do find time, it's interesting... relearning to program, learning a new programming language and seeing my little snippets of code come to life.

Yeah, it may look like fricken Geometry Wars on the surface, but it's not. I wanted to do the "vector thing" long before seeing GeoWars, but unfortunately didn't. So, I'm just using the art I did previously as placeholder, until I swap it out for some other style that's hopefully new and fresh. At the very least not the over-done (yet still cool in some games) GeoWars retro-vector look.

So, Expect more verbage about my side-projects, when I'm not bitchin' about my day job, but in the meantime expect more kibitzing about game dev and especially about the unwashed masses I'm sure I'll encounter at GDC08.